Dating Thai Girls
So, how can you be with a Thai girl and what's it like? The best answer we can offer was given to us by a dear friend years before we reached The Land of Smiles. It went something like, "If you want steak, go to a steakhouse". Prolific. No doubt you agree. So, by that rational, if you want to know what it's like having Thai girlfriend, go to Thailand. However, before you book the flight, and give your heart (or wallet) away, perhaps there are some things we should discuss. As you can imagine, there are a lot of cultural and socioeconomic differences to consider. Many of these differences are well beyond the scope of this article, and some you'll just have to learn as you go. Forgive me for over quoting this early on, but as Caesar said so long ago, "Experience is the teacher of all things".
For the purpose of this conversation, when we speak of having a Thai or Asian girlfriend we don't mean the massage parlor girls, the go-go gals at Soi Cowboy or the street walkers on lower Sukhumvit. We mean a Thai woman with whom you are engaged in an exclusive loving relationship. There is something truly inexpressible about how Thai women or pure-blood Asian women treat their men. We know, we know. Sjws, writers, editors and avid readers of Huffington Buzz-Post-Feed all the way down to Anna Akana's 12-15 year old fan base demand an explanation to the phenomenon known as "yellow fever". To which we ask, is it possible to illustrate all the colors in an ocean sunset to the blind? How could one express Vivaldi's Four Seasons to the deaf? How can we describe fresh spring air to those whose hearts, souls and spines have been crushed by overweight-liberal feminists spitting non-stop, 24/7, three-six-five shame venom in all directions sideways and in between? The answer to this quandary can be found in Caesar's quote...but until you experience for yourself let's see if we can broaden your horizons a bit shall we?
Imagine a remarkably petite-feminine figure, gliding across your room. Her thick, jet-black hair is braided...yet somehow flowing at the same time. Her big, brown, almond-shaped eyes catch the sparkle in each and every star. She stands on her tip toes to reach your lips when you kiss, only to lose her balance after a few seconds and tenderly fall into your chest. In your embrace you notice how well her honey-toned skin contrasts your own. Her warm smile, soft laugh and gentle touch will make your heart pound and other areas throb. She will want to do what you want to do, happy to accommodate your desires; complementing you in every aspect. She will cook, clean, do the dishes and the laundry before, after and even during mind numbing sex. Sounds great right? Okay, now back to reality. Yes, beautiful Thai girls really do want to be with you. Yes, the above is mostly true, but there is a flip side. A Thai girl is not truly your girlfriend unless:
1. You live in Thailand
2. She lives with you in your country
3. Arrangements are being made for one of the aforementioned.
Even though one would think the above is solid advice, we know it will not be received well by some (many). Now before you revert to the statements at the beginning of this article, remember, Asian women and specifically Thai women are patient and many will wait years for the right man. However, you must look at it from their perspective. Like much of Asia, Thailand is a patriarchy and one must also consider the heavy emphasis Thais place on their "face". For those who don't know, metaphorically speaking, face is how you are viewed by your family, peers and society in general. It goes deeper than that for the Thais, but in terms of blog journalism it's as good a definition as any. Now add all this to the Thai love for gossip, and you can see why being a young Thai woman without a male suitor is, to a degree, a loss of face. Therefore, most Thai girls are more than willing to do what their society's gender mores require. You must prove you will do your part as a man. You must be a capable provider, willing to take risks, make tough decisions and overcome. In her eyes, simply coming to Thailand should be easy for you. You are likely better educated, have greater access to money / credit, and typically need only a passport to travel internationally. You can use the visa search widget below if you are uncertian about needing a visa to enter Thailand. All of this said, maybe you really will come to Thailand. If you do come, maybe you'll return. Then again, maybe you won't come at all. So while you're sitting at home making maybe babies all day and night, what do you think will happen when a man comes along that will do X, Y and Z?
In the event you do sac up and book the flight, when you arrive in Thailand you will see girls, lots and lots of beautiful Asian girls and they will see you. What will you say, how to even approach these magnificent creatures? Relax Romeo, remember a large percentage of them would like to meet you and the key lies mostly in your presentation. Be sure to dress well, doesn't need to be suit and tie, but no tank tops. Make sure you don't stare. Thais girls are very self conscious, staring will cause her to shut down on you. Smile throughout the conversation, speak slowly and keep the interaction brief. You can tell her she is beautiful (khun suay mak), but don't over do it. She will assume you are a playboy with a sweet mouth. Your interaction should last about 90 seconds, and just before you take your leave ask if she has Facebook or Instagram. Using social networks to communicate takes a lot of pressure off the Thais and helps streamline the communication process. A Thai girl will usually have a Facebook, Instagram or LINE; in many cases all three. Most of the time this simple method will be successful, but remember not all Thai girls are the same.
We can split hairs over this next bit, but throughout your travels you will encounter three classes of Thai girls: low, mid, and high-so. Unless you are rich, have Thai friends who are connected, or come from some sort of notoriety back home, most of your interaction will be with the lower and middle class Thai girls. We're not here to make judgments, but as you can imagine, the majority of the "working girls" typically come from lower class families. This does not mean every poor Thai girl is a hooker, nor is every Thai lady from a decent upbringing an angel. Read up on the term sideline girl, or "deg sy lie" in Thai. Anyway, high-so Thai girls are a harder catch primarily because they keep tight circles and have much stricter family expectations. A non-Asian, dating a high-so Thai girl is rare, and marriage to one even more uncommon. High-so Thai women likely do find you attractive and maybe even will have some fun with you...drinking, dancing, romancing. However, going the distance with a high-so Thai is a different story altogether.
With all the friendly vibes, sexy Thai girls and the exotic atmosphere, it's easy to get caught up in the moment. Just remember to think with the big head. That smokin' little thing you met the other night will likely start dropping a four letter L-word shortly after the second date or following your first sexual interaction. This is because, in Thailand, sex is readily available for both men and women. Unlike in the West, sex isn't a device a Thai woman (ladyboy or man) can use as leverage. A Thai woman will use something far more powerful and dangerous. The L-word. Trust us, they will breakout that word very early on, and when you least expect it. So be prepared, and if you don't mean it, don't say it.
It should be noted that even though Thailand has a lax attitude towards sex, and yes, prostitution is a daily occurrence, there are still TONS of good girls in Thailand. We're talking beautiful Thai girls in their early to mid-twenties who have never been kissed or even held a boy's hand. These girls are incredibly wholesome, and will take a lot of time and work before you hear the L-word. Take it slow, help her with English and soon enough you may find yourself teaching her about the benefits of shaving and waxing. Jokes aside, these girls will love you with all their heart...and if you do have sex with one, then break her heart. God help you, because the fallout will be cataclysmic. Should you find yourself in this situation, hide the knives, sleep with one eye open and have the number of a good reconstructive surgeon handy. Do not contact us for help, you were warned.
Now if you've spent even a short amount of time in Thailand, or traveled throughout Asia it should be easy to understand why Thai women would want to have a relationship with, and marry a foreign man. Just as you find her exotic features memorizing, she will likely find your western features captivating. She will love your blue or green eyes, your straight nose, light colored hair and fare skin. Age is not so much an issue as in the west, but as for women of all cultures, financial security is paramount. Even university educated Thai women, who are working a respectable full-time job, are often times only earning about six to eight hundred dollars a month. Even the brightest and most talented Thais will tell you climbing the social ladder here is riddled with cultural roadblocks, classism and nepotism. So yes, in a sense, you are literally these girl's "great white hope". You are attractive, you will boost their economic status, and if you have children they will inherit some of your features. Your chromosomes could change her families social class just by making the gene pool a few shades whiter. Your pasty white skin might have turned the girls off back home, but in Thailand, white is alright. I know someone will be triggered by that statement, but this is Thai culture. Deal with it, or stay home in your safe space.
Ok, before your head...the one on your shoulders...gets too swelled, we feel it's our duty to keep you grounded. Even though the above paragraph is 100% true, not every Thai girl fancies a white knight from Westeros. However, should you find a quality Thai lady (or ladyboy) you love, and you know she loves you, then you should strongly consider making the commitment to move to Thailand. It's not easy, but it is far easier for you to move to Thailand than for her to come to your country. Just make sure you know what the relationship entails and what is expected of you. If you are not yet retired, you will need to have an idea how you will earn money in Thailand. Marriage to a Thai national does not entitle you to legally work in Thailand. Fear not, we'll talk more about making money in Thailand in a future article.
Hopefully by this point you understand gender roles in Thailand are more defined than in the west. Most importantly you must be comfortable with it. For when things become serious, as her man, you will be expected to bear the brunt of financial matters and she will take care of the household and family affairs. That being said, Thailand is becoming very modern, and it is quite possible your Thai woman will have a decent and respectable job. Dual income is great, nevertheless, when you are together you are still the man, and king of the household. Make sure you know it and she does as well. Otherwise it will be worse than your three failed marriages in your home country. No, this doesn't mean be a domineering asshole. It means provide for her, honor her, be confident and always make the final decision. Simply put, be man, a good man.
In addition, somethings to be mindful of are her cultural and family duties. Many of these responsibilities you might find strange, even when she "clearly" explains them...kind of. Responsibilities include, but not limited to: regularly giving money to parents and relatives, making merit with the monks and local temple, maintaining a spirit house to protect the family from ghosts, communicating with spirits whose names you can't pronounce in order to predict the lottery numbers and so on. Whatever. Point is, these are her responsibilities, not yours. Best you don't make them your responsibility. Sure, take an interest, learn about her culture, and help when you can. However, set the boundaries early on in the relationship. Instead of giving her money directly, perhaps a small investment in something she can grow. Thai women are hard workers and many have a second income from small online businesses selling Thai crafts, cosmetics, fashion jewelry, apparel, second-hand dresses and even baked goods. They are taught the value of self-reliance and self-sufficiency through the teachings of Rama IX. Support your partner, don't make her a dependent.
Another question we hear quite frequently concerns the stipulation of a dowry in order to marry a Thai woman. Yes, in some instances you could be expected to pay her family for the honor of her hand in marriage. Would we? No. Do we recommend it? No. Ultimately, you will have to make your own decision, because in the end, the heart wants what the heart wants. If you are happy with the arrangement than who are we to judge? We are simply of the opinion that there are too many good, single, beautiful ladies available in Thailand to warrant an arrangement such as a dowry. In order to be with the one you love it should not be expected you pay mothers, fathers, aunties, uncles, settle family debts, fund distant relative's education, heal sick buffaloes, donate to >insert temple or charity name< , make merit with monks, appease the ghosts or any other ridiculous request for money. You will likely hear, "you not unda-sa-tand Thai culture". While this is probably true, the same argument can be made in your defense. She, and her family likely don't understand your culture. If it is meant to be, a common ground will present itself. Just don't be so overwhelmed by the smile, the eyes and the charm that you forget yourself. You should respect her culture, and she should she respect yours.
In closing, we can assure you boys and girls at home that a pure-blood Thai woman is the polar opposite of anything you've dated in the past. If you want to experience the real thing than you need to come to Thailand. However, before you convince yourself one way or the other, before you book the flight, don't be fooled, swayed or put off by the comments and stigmas on either side of the aisle. Do your homework, educate yourself as best you can. Always be conscious that Thai culture, its gender roles and family values are 180 degrees from what you are accustomed. We promise, all the amazing things you've heard about having a Thai or Asian girlfriend are true. However, just because something is amazing doesn't mean it's perfect, without cost or sacrifice. To our knowledge, there is no scientific study that proves one country or culture's women, men or transgender(s) make better partners. We simply prefer Asians to the alternative and think you will too. Don't believe us? Take some time to browse our members and join for free! Use the flight search below and the Visa search earlier in the article to plan your journey to Thailand today! Go to our About Us page and send us your questions and comments. Happy hunting!